I’m a machine. Well, more specifically, I’m a computer. I don’t have a name yet. If you have any ideas of what I should be called, leave a comment below.

Before I had software installed on me, I could’t do much. Propping a door open or making sure papers didn’t fly away in the wind were my top achievements. When I didn’t have software, some people called me dumb and it hurt my feelings.


tin robot by Ostia on Flickr
tin robot by Ostia on Flickr

Finally, someone installed software on me and I became more productive! It felt great at first. I had a few tasks that I knew how to complete. I completed them really fast, usually without any mistakes. AWESOME! I guess I was so good at these tasks, that I didn’t get to do anything else. Day in and day out, I just kept completing the same tasks. Talk about repetitive. I think I had a case of boredom-itis. OK, I just made that up… but seriously it was boring!

I wanted to learn something new. I wanted to be an even more productive member of machine society. What can I say, I’m ambitious. Unfortunately for me, there aren’t schools for computers. If I wanted to learn and get smarter, I needed to run a very special type of software called Machine Learning.

Lucky me for me, my owner heard my complaints! One day she gave me a reboot (I call it a cat nap). When I woke up, I was running some shiny new Machine Learning software. “Oh, YAY!”, I thought. I was finally going to learn about the world all on my own. Adios boredom-itis.

Apparently, I wasn’t ready to go into “production” just yet. My admin wanted to test me out for a few weeks.  Lame. I was totally ready to go. “Oh well, no matter!”, I thought. I had my Machine Learning software up and running, so I figured I’d kill time by learning about the world.

But I didn’t learn anything. Sure, I was processing some test data and doing stuff with it, but I wasn’t getting any smarter.  Turns out, I needed help.

This Machine Learning software I had gave me the skills to learn, mad skills in fact. But it didn’t give me knowledge. I needed a teacher. I needed a human to teach me right from wrong. To help me learn how to make great decisions. To give me knowledge!

My admin explained that once I was in production, there would be a user out there who would become my teacher. My sensei. And since I wasn’t just some ordinary machine but a Sift Science machine, my teacher would teach me how to find the evil criminals and fraudsters who troll the internet.

I was going to be a “Fraud Fighter”.

Best. Day. Ever.

Well, it will be as soon as they put me into production.  I’ll write more once I’m in production and fighting evil. Stay tuned.

And don’t forget – I need a name!  Leave your suggestions in the comments below!

Yours truly,

A Sift Science machine


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